- The following is an actual lab transcript of the convorsation between me and my crush's boyfriend. He initiated the conversation by using her phone. Foot notes have been added for the reader's benefit.
- Him: No problemo broham! :D sorry youre wallowing in self pity but I promise youll get over her! I wont try to kill you if you guys stay friends!
- [note the subjects instant defensive instinct to control his partner's social life, proving immediately that he is in fact a womanizing ass]
- Me: first off, I'm not "wallowing in self pity" there's a big difference between that and being disappointed. Second: like I fucking give a shit about your opinion of our friendship I don't give a flying fuck who you are and I can be friends with whomever the fuck I want. I don't have to go through you. Third: I didn't have any fucking problem with you so I don't see why you give a shit about me. Unless of course you're not confident in your ability to keep her interested in you. So the way I see it this can go two ways: you can go start shit, and be some macho egotistical womanizing Boyfriend who wants to completely control his girlfriends social life, because you're too insecure to believe that she can be trusted to talk to other men, or you can focus on keeping her interested in you by how you treat her rather than puffing out your chest in a primitive form of intimidation.
- [while this response uses weak and unintelligent diction choices of slang and cursing, it still does a decent job of effectively ending the convorsation. However, stupidity remains]
- Him: I see your attempt at intellectual confidence and raise you a picture of my penis! be prepared!
- [no image of genitals was sent, showing the true gutlessness of the subject, as well as the fact that the entire conversation was simply an act of intimidation]
- Me: wow, how "intellectually confident" I am positively baffled at your depth of intelligence. Though, I wasn't aware that the human brain ran on pure testosterone.
- [no footnote here, this one is self explanatory]
- Him: lol I realize you are indeed upset about your current romantic situation but there is truly no logical reason for your outbursts. I never once attacked you or your manhood and therefore you should keep calm and continue fapping to anime porn! Thank you good sir, and goodnight *bow*
- [this piece truly shows the level of arrogance the subject shows. He honestly believes himself clever. But the simple fact that he attempted to use speech patterns similar to my own is equivalent to admitting that I am intellectually superior. For I was not mimicking his speech, because I was satisfied with my own ability to make my own arguments]
- Me: note, on the nineteenth of may, 9:24pm, eastern standard time, it has been recorded that the primitive species can mimic the speech patterns of human beings. Also note that after mimicry, the ape like subject reverted back to immature attempts to insult sexual pride and possibly provoke an equally immature response. It's attempts were unsuccessful.
- [now I revert to an act. I am no longer taking this convorsation seriously as i have already won. I will continue this act until the end of the exchange]
- Him: it's attempts were so indecisively ineffect that the human subject continues to converse with the primative subject even after it has said goodbye. Sir we primative, unevolved, and inferior being describe this as being "butt hurt" please take your bow now while you still have your dignity.
- [again, the laughable attempt to use higher vocabulary is glaringly obvious. The fact that he seems to think I am hurt is also laughable seeing as I am in no way hurt. As for the bow, bows are due at the end of things. And I was by no means finished]
- Me: note: subject continues to attempt to replicate human vocal patterns, though attempts are often forced and unnatural. Subject clearly has a minimal grasp of the English language. Subject fails to differentiate the difference between conversing and analyzing, and has yet to produce any original response. Instead, it continues to use undeveloped attacks. In its attempt to provide an intelligent response, it is, in fact, developing an increasingly unintelligent image of itself.
- Him: Umadbro? Udontevenlift! :D sorry broseph stalin but this playuh has to cut his trolling session short! Our fine female subject has to be on her way now, thanks!
- [the final attempt at.... Whatever it was he was attempting to do. I don't even need to go any further with this one]
- Me: May 19, 9:53pm, EST. Subject shows first attempt at an original, though unintelligent, response. Subject also shows signs of frustration at his failure.
- NOTE: these tests were conducted under lab conditions. It is not advised that one attempts anything seen here on a wild Annusicus Aperature-Maximus. (Common name: enormous ass hole).
Spanish fashion designer invents clothes-spray
THIS IS THE RADDEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE
this seems like the most useful thing ever, forget clothing. Watch the video.
“So I shouldn’t be surprised that the Mother’s Day Parade shooting has largely been forgotten. On Sunday, shots were fired into a crowd during a parade in the New Orleans 7th ward. Police said they saw three suspects running from the scene.
This is the largest mass shooting in the United States where the shooters were still at large after the crime was committed. Think about that for a minute. From Columbine to Virginia Tech to Fort Hill to Aurora, all the shooters were either killed or apprehended on site. But the person or people responsible for shooting 19 Americans are still free.”
Yes, false rape accusations happen. Run the protocol anyway. I’ve heard that perhaps the military has the highest number of ‘em. True or not, RUN THE PROTOCOL ANYWAY. Because in 15 years of investigating rape accusations, I can count those that panned out as false on one hand. Meanwhile, the one time I almost skipped the protocol, the one time I almost didn’t believe a petty officer, because I was naive as an investigator and a young woman, because her commanding officer described her as “a party girl, always late, always out drinking, don’t bother with this one”, she turned out to be the victim of one of the most brutal assaults I’ve ever investigated. She shouldn’t have still been -alive-, let alone up and making the accusation. So let me repeat: five false accounts in fifteen years. And one time I almost failed a woman ‘cause of the bullshit way it’s normal to talk about us. Take your shipmates’ word, and then run the protocol. Every. Single. Time.
You can’t be a misandrist and have a boyfriend.
The hatred of men by women: “her feminism is just poorly disguised misandry”.
Remember that. By the very definition of the word, you are a hypocrite if you claim to be a misandrist and you have a boyfriend.
Tell that to the misogynist men who have girlfriends.
I hope you have a bulk emailer because it’s going to take you a while.
lol boom ^
Can we just take a minute to think about how, if I were to put up an identifiable nude picture of myself, on my own blog, taken in my own bathroom, it could come back around an ruin my life?
let’s just think about how, no matter what I do with my life - become a teacher, a lawyer, a scientist, a professor - a photograph of my naked body could render largely null and void the value that others would be willing to give to me.
It would not matter if I were a virgin - it would not matter if I meant them for a lover’s eyes only - it would not matter whether or not I did it for money - my own naked body could actually ruin my life and my work.
Can we just think about that? That is powerful, and not in a good way.
“In response to Abercrombie & Fitch CEO Mike Jeffries not wanting “not so cool” kids or women who wear size large to wear his company’s clothes, Greg Karber has come up with a funny and creative way to readjust the Abercrombie & Fitch brand.
He’s giving their clothes to the homeless.
After scouring his local thrift shop’s “douchebag section,” Karber heads to LA’s Skid Row to dole out the clothes among the homeless population. Watch the stunt and find out how you can be involved in one man’s troll-job on a company with some pretty unflattering business practices in the video above.”
Socializing is as exhausting as giving blood. People assume we loners are misanthropes, just sitting thinking, ‘Oh, people are such a bunch of assholes,’ but it’s really not like that. We just have a smaller tolerance for what it takes to be with others. It means having to perform. I get so tired of communicating.